Navigating Co-Parenting Arrangements for Infants & Young Children

When parents of very young children separate, emotions often run high — and so do questions like:
What parenting arrangements are best for a baby or toddler? How often should they see each parent?
At Wallen Family Law, we know these decisions are among the hardest you’ll ever make.

Co-parenting infants requires balancing attachment, stability, and meaningful connection with both parents — while keeping your child’s developmental needs at the centre of every decision.

1. Understanding Attachment and Developmental Needs

Babies and toddlers rely on consistency and predictability to feel safe. Their primary attachment — often the parent who has been their main caregiver — provides comfort, regulation, and security.

At this stage, short, frequent contact with the other parent often works best. This helps the baby build familiarity and trust without disrupting feeding, sleep, and daily rhythms.

Every child is different, but the key goal is always the same: To nurture a secure attachment with both parents, without compromising emotional or physical wellbeing.

2. Common Parenting Arrangements for Infants

While every family’s circumstances are unique, arrangements for very young children often include:

Infants under 1 year:

• Frequent but shorter visits (e.g. a few hours every few days)

• Avoiding overnight time until feeding, sleep, and separation comfort are well established

Toddlers (1–3 years):

• Gradual increase in time as the child adjusts

• Introducing daytime and occasional overnight stays once the child is comfortable and routines are predictable

Preschoolers (3–5 years):

• Longer and more flexible visits, including regular overnight time

• Consistent handover routines and good communication between parents

The focus should remain on what supports the child’s sense of safety, rather than a strict equal-time model.

3. Communication Between Parents

Successful co-parenting depends on clear, calm communication — even when emotions are raw.

Tips for managing communication:

• Keep messages short, factual, and child-focused

• Use written communication (email or parenting app) to avoid miscommunication

• Avoid involving children in adult conversations

• Be respectful of the other parent’s time and role

If direct communication is difficult, a parenting coordinator or family dispute resolution (FDR) practitioner can help reduce conflict and establish smoother routines.

4. Gradual Transitions Are Key

For very young children, transitions can be overwhelming — especially if the environment and routines differ.

Help your baby adjust by:

• Keeping items of comfort consistent between homes (e.g. a favourite toy or blanket)

• Following similar sleep and feeding routines

• Allowing short, positive handovers

• Offering reassurance and warmth

Gradual progression builds trust for both the child and parents.

5. The Role of the Family Law Act

Under the Family Law Act 1975, the Court must prioritise the best interests of the child — which include:

• Maintaining meaningful relationships with both parents, and

• Protecting the child from physical or psychological harm

In parenting cases involving infants, courts often favour developmentally appropriate arrangements — where frequency and duration increase gradually as the child grows.

This approach reflects the principle that stability and emotional security form the foundation for later independence and resilience.

6. When Parents Disagree

When parents can’t agree on arrangements, options include:

• Family Dispute Resolution (FDR): A neutral mediator helps you reach agreement.

• Parenting Plan: A written, informal agreement outlining arrangements.

• Consent Orders: A formal, legally binding agreement approved by the Court.

• Court Proceedings: If no agreement is possible, the Court will decide based on evidence about what’s in the child’s best interests.

7. Our Approach

At Wallen Family Law, we encourage cooperative, child-centred solutions — not rigid formulas.

We regularly remind clients that: A parenting arrangement for an infant is not permanent — it evolves as your child grows and their needs change.

Our goal is to help parents establish a stable foundation now that supports flexibility, safety, and connection as your child develops.

Wallen Family Law — Family Law, Made Clear.

If you’ve recently separated and want guidance on parenting arrangements for your baby or young child, we can help you create a plan that prioritises your child’s emotional security and development.
📍 Based in Wollongong, assisting clients across NSW.
💬 Book your free 15-minute consultation today.

Disclaimer: This article provides general information only and should not be relied upon as legal advice. Every family law matter is unique and requires specific legal guidance. Always seek professional legal advice for your specific situation.